Tag Archives: wife

Top 10 most stupid questions

Posted by on November 13, 2009 No comments

1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here…

2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask…

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout…it’s just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. ..

9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks.. .

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it’s a miracle ………..it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!

Why I fired my secretary

Posted by on October 31, 2009 1 comment

I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, “Good morning boss”.

Happy Birthday.” And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said
“You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”
I said, “Oh yeah, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.”
We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day.
We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?” I said, “No, I guess not.”
Sh! e said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”
After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind,
I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.”

“Sure,” I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.


-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

-

And there I sat…on the sofa……….naked!

Don’t copy if you can’t paste.!

Posted by on August 11, 2009 No comments

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. Said he: “The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn’t my wife!”

The audience was in silence and shock.

The speaker added: “And that woman was my mother!”
Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack
this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.

He said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!”
The wife went wan with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out “… and I can’t remember who she was !”

Moral of the story:  Don’t copy if you can’t paste.!